Jin's 7th Picture in 2014

This is my seventh picture in 2014.

 

As it was very detailed and needed countless colour mixes, it took me a bit of time to finish but I really enjoyed the process. What I learnt from this picture is focusing on only one part rather than whole picture so I could avoid overwhelmed feeling and kept going like our daily life. It was incredible feeling when I could see each part became a whole picture and each colour unified into the parts. My husband gave me a big appreciation re the picture so I was even happier.

 

 

Change Fitness Change Life

I am 42. Actually, I am 42 and 7 months. Geeees, quite old, aren’t I? Frankly, very often I experience a light shock whenever I remind myself how old I am. However, I try to bounce back fast because I know all I can I do is accept and deal with it. Am I right?

 

However, guess what? Can you believe that I am fitter than ever in my life? I was leaner and prettier when I was younger (very long time ago, ha-ha) but I have never been fitter and stronger in my life (EVER!!!!) and I am very proud of my achievement. I don’t look like a super model as I was born to be a normal Asian looking girl (‘short & thick’ as per my husband’s description) but I have finally got bit of muscle on my body and my fitness level has gone up higher than ever. I often work out with 20 years juniors and I found myself keeping up with them without any problem. I feel younger, healthier, fitter and stronger than my aged people and I cannot stop appreciating my constant efforts in keeping healthy lifestyle. Besides keeping healthy body and mind, a very special prize that keeps me going is my husband’s gratitude. Simply, his like my body and fitness changes and I love the attention.

 

 

As a story teller, I feel urged to talk about how I got fitter and stronger when I get older so more and more people can enjoy this fulfilment together. I feel totally awesome so I want you to feel the same. Here are my strategies to share with you.     

 

Exercise is my meal. One of my colleges who go with me to the gym at lunch time Change fitness change life often grumbles that he doesn’t feel like to workout. My answer is simple. “Are you going to have lunch?” I stop considering exercise as a special event of the day. It became a thing I don’t like to miss (I love eating so I can’t miss a meal). Of course, sometimes I feel slack as anyone but I know that I would feel even worse if I don’t work out. Exercise became my daily habit and not many excuses can stop me doing exercise. 

 

Appropriate exercise regime is the key. I have been always active and exercising regularly whole my life. However, I didn’t think about ‘How to’ exercise and didn’t realise the importance of intelligent workout. Since I started different types of group training sessions designed by professional fitness instructors, my fitness level has been changed significantly.  These workouts can help you to build strength, speed, endurance, and flexibility. I normally combine several different types of sessions for getting balanced workout. Body Attack, Body Pump, Pilates, Yoga, Cycle, Body pump, Free style workouts, CX work, etc… There are plenty of options are available so you can mix them systematically. Cardio workouts (Body Attack and Cycle) with Strength workout (Body Pump) or with Flexibility workouts (Yoga and Pilates) could be a great mix. Try them. I am sure that you will find very efficient and effective results in a very shorter time.

 

Be conscious of eating habit. Honestly, this is the hardest part for as I am a great eater. Since I started the University, my battle on diet has never been stopped but one thing has changed is that I am more conscious on ‘what to eat’. I was always focused on ‘how much to eat’ and focused on being skinny rather than being healthy. I still think controlling food intake is very important but also ‘what to eat’ needs to be well-thought-out. Unfortunately, our modern life style (sitting most of the day) doesn’t help us to keep the right weight so we need to put extra efforts to keep it under control. Exercise alone is not good enough. You also monitor and control your eating habit. Choose healthier options and check calories whenever you eat. There is plenty of information on the web to get healthy eating habits.

 

The more you know the better you can manage. Once I became more conscious of health matters, I realised that there are plenty of useful information everywhere. All the fitness magazines, news, blogs, and apps provide valuable strategies to keep a healthy lifestyle. I agree that sometimes you would feel overwhelmed by too much information so avoid listening and applying too many options without proper investigation or common-sense. What I am trying to say is that we need know more about our health and ways to keep it as long as possible. When you are more interested in having a healthy lifestyle, I trust you will do more to achieve it as it has happened to me.     

 

Exercise definitely helped my stress level down. One of the most obvious reasons I feel fitter and healthier is the fact that I don’t get stressed easily nowadays. Certain part of my life, I felt everything around me was stressful. Ironically, nothing has been changed around me but I don’t feel the same any more. My perception blinded me to see the real picture at that time. Now I am learning how to manage my mind and trying to take situations rationally. Many times I realise that the problems were not that bad as I thought and all were solvable anyhow. Anything beyond our control doesn’t need to be worried. Simple change in my mind helped me to see the same situation differently. When I feel bit stressed out, I go for a run or do workout to sweat out all the issues in mind. When you have to think about only how to breathe in and out, how can you think about stress? It really helps so try.

 

I sleep very well and it helps my mood. 8-9 hours of sound sleep is essential for my days. I know some people have a quite serious problem with lack of sleep and that impacts their life a lot. Based on my experience, what I can recommend you to have a sound sleep is regular exercise. When your body gets tired, you will have fewer problems with sleeping. Also try to arrange your sleep at the same time every day so your body knows when to relax. Avoid caffeine intake (Coffee, tea, energy drinks, etc…) in the afternoon. One of Chinese proverb I used to hear from mum is ‘Sleep is the best medicine’ and I cannot agree more.

 

Having a great relationship with my husband keeps me healthy and happy.  Stress-free relationship relaxes me and comforts my life. As I enjoy doing my hobbies and exercises, I respect his hobbies and what he wants to do. It works perfectly and I can see both of us are getting healthier and fitter. We talk about healthy life and take action together to keep fit and healthy. It works perfectly and I am very happy with our relationship. Don’t forget that happy life starts from happy home.

 

What do you think? Not too hard to be fit and healthy even though we all are getting older, is it? Or, still too hard? It is up to you. When you don’t look after your fitness, you never can achieve healthy and happy life. Trust me when you change your fitness you can change your life, too. Don’t start later as the later could never come.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are we really getting stupider?

Currently, I am enjoying reading a book called, Early Retirement Extreme written by Jacob Lund Fisker. I have read only 30% of his book so far but I already love his strong (maybe too extreme to someone) views on our consumerism society and importance of financial independence. What Jacob wants to tell us through the book (I think) is how to make ourselves to stop working for money and stop worrying about the next paycheck in just a short number of years by changing our attitudes on lifestyle and managing our spending habits. Honestly, I couldn’t agree more about his views on our current work dominated society and awareness of importance in examining our defaulted life path (as Jacob outlined such as graduating high school, getting a college degree, buying a car, getting married, buying a house, filling it with furniture, clothes, TVs, washing machines, lawn mowers, and electric egg boilers, and then spending the next 40 years working 9-5 to pay it all off), and I cannot wait to finish the book to know more about ‘the strategy’ to get out of this rat race as soon as possible.

 

One of the most interesting his opinions that caught my attention was ‘we are getting stupider’ and I cannot stop thinking more about it. How dare he could say that we are getting more incompetent and imprudent? As a highly educated person, I should question about his tough statement, shouldn’t I?

 

Firstly, according to data from the ACEPT (the Australian Council for Private Education and Training), 40 per cent of 25-34 years olds will have a bachelor degree or above by 2025. That means more and more people are getting higher education, doesn’t it?

 

Secondly, many of my colleagues and friends are continuously taking professional degrees either voluntarily (or forced by work atmosphere) in order to improve their career progression (or not to get fired) and to survive in an increasingly competitive global employment market after their bachelor degree(s) or even master degree(s). That means even smart people try to get smarter, doesn’t it?  Life lasting study cannot help us to get smarter, then what else?

 

As internet access is claimed as a human right (by my fourteen year old niece), people are surrounded by unlimited information. Whatever we want to know, google it and there will be whatever we were looking for. We now can know/see/learn more and faster than ever before. Whenever we move our fingers, there are more than enough of information available and accessible that frequently makes us feel overwhelmed. Doesn’t it mean we are getting smarter?

 

Ironically, I have found that many of human behaviours are less likely to be reasonable or rational nowadays especially, when people are supposed to be smarter than ever. These are the things that don’t make sense to me.

 

How come when people earn more than before but save less? I assume most of us know how to add (+) and subtract (-). Rationally, when people have more pluses, people are supposed to have more money in their savings, aren’t they? However, our saving rate has become close to 0% even though we make money more than ever. It doesn’t really make sense to me. Where all the money has gone? I believe we all learnt that we need to save up money for our future from the very early age but this basic advice doesn’t seem to work nowadays.

 

How many hours do you spend a day? Most of us, ordinary people spend about 10 hours a day (including commuting time and preparation time for work), 5 days a week (50 hours), 48 weeks a year (2,400 hours) and 40 years of your life (96,000 hours) at work, and those hours seem to be getting longer and longer by many reasons such as higher living cost, increased pension age, competitive employment market, etc… We spend more than 60 per cent and the most important stage of our life time at work and, look forward to be finally free when we are ‘OLD’ (ready to look for a nursing home). How does it sound to you? It sounds too awful that I cannot let myself to follow this ordinary life path. When people are smart enough, why they let their life to be like this. It doesn’t make sense to me. 

 

I think some people may like working and spend their life for achieving their passion and career but I know most of people hate to spend most of their life at work as only the reason to work is for funding their living. What I cannot understand is why people would waste their money for buying more and unnecessary things that force them to stay at work longer and longer. When people spend more and more money for obtaining things and have to spend more of their precious life at work to support their spending habits, the things cannot be valuable any longer as people become a slave to the objects. Is it reasonable to exchange your life to buy things? I seriously doubt that.    

 

“I bought a J…!” Every single minute (bit of exaggeration but seems like), TV commercial tells people that they should buy this and that because of they are special, they deserve and the stuff will make people’s life ‘Better’. Astonishingly, J’s sale has significantly increased recently and I can see the advertised car everywhere at the moment. People became great listeners. Whatever they are told, they believe and they buy it without second thoughts. That’s why advertisement has become so powerful. If we are smart enough, wouldn’t we question more about ‘WHY?’ 

 

I have met many, many people who are having financial problems in their life due to their spending habits, lack of money management skills, ignorance on their future, etc… and, I have tried many times to help them to find out the causes of their financial situation. Most of them did agree what the problems are and what they have to change to get better. However, very unfortunately hardly anyone do any action. It is too hard to limit their spending and to change their current lifestyle to them. What about the future when they are too old or sick that they have to stop working and no savings? Isn't it going to be far harder? When people know what the problems are, but refuse to get better, I can’t find any logic in their attitudes. 

 

 

 

This quote has been hanging under my computer screen for a month already since I found one of the early retirement blogs. It encourages me to think about my life path whenever I read out. Do you examine your life? Are you driving your life as you wanted?

 

I thought we all are getting smarter but regrettably I have to admit that I cannot dismiss Jacob’s argument after examining people’s behaviour. I hope my review about people’s current life style and spending habits can give you a chance to think about yourself as Jacob’s book awoke up my thoughts. 

Are we really getting smarter?

 

A Sad News (Wake-up!)

Whenever an email pops up with a subject, ‘Sad News’ at work, seriously I feel my heart gets shrunken as if I witnessed a crime scene before even opening the email, and today was not exceptional. 

 

‘Again?’

 

I quickly checked how old he was (Geeee… not too old). His appearance was confirmed by a colleague who quickly browsed the company website to find who he was (Ukkkkk… I know him). It is never pleasant to hear ‘a sad news about death’ but it gets worsen when you know the person. He was working till the last day of his life and now gone forever. My colleague whose age is closer to the person looked quite shocked as she heard the news but soon faced back to her monitor and continued her day as nothing has happened, but I, as an early retirement seeker couldn’t stop questioning myself about the working life.

 

‘What is the point of life when you spend most of your life at work?’

 

Our pension age will soon go up to 70 (hopefully, still alive…) and also Superannuation access age has been proposed to be 70 along with the pension age. So, should we be ready to work till 70? I am already not young enough to be qualified as an Early Retirement Extreme but I refuse to imagine myself to be at work until 70. Definitely, I am not mentally ready for it. Therefore, I have got to do something NOW.

 

Why I want to be free from workforce as soon as is very simple.

 

Life is finite. Unfortunately, I have got limited life to live so I cannot simply waste it. I have been spending most of my youth at work to make money and career that I thought the most important things in my life. As time goes by which means as I am getting older, my view on money and career is not same as before any longer. I finally realised that they are not worthy enough to exchange with my precious life. There is no rehearsal in life so it is time to play my own role that I have been wishing for a very long time.

 

Do what I want to do and when I can do. Working 9 to 5, 5 days of week and 48 weeks out of 52 weeks a year has been limiting me from what I have been wanting to do. Living with not enough time and energy for my own wishes is not acceptable to me any longer. Getting up in dark and coming home in dark, and not enough time for myself stress and demand me clear answers for working life. I am supposed to work for living but work has been ruling my life. I do not want to limit my wishes that make my life happier and fuller by the reason that I have to work. I want to travel more, spend more time with loved ones, paint more, write more, find new things to do, etc… Mostly, I want to feel free about my life. So, I have got to depart the workforce as soon as possible.

 

Lead my life under my control. I do not want to be told what I need to do, what I should work on, how I can improve my work performance, when I should come and go, when I can travel, what I have to listen, what I have to accomplish by when, etc…  My mum never said what I had to do when I was a kid (as she knew I would not listen any way). I was responsible for my actions and it grew a strong confidence in my life. However, it didn’t work at workplace. I have been told to listen what to do, how to do, when do to, so on. Who am I? I feel totally lost at works without guidelines, policies, plans, strategies, etc…, which don’t mean anything to my personal life. Working life freezes our ability to think and confines us to live under the scripted life (like a clone). I have been living in it without examine my life and I am not happy to continue it any more. It is time to control my life according to my own plan and be my own boss in my life.

 

Utilise life energy for my life. I have been exchanging my life energy to work in order to make money (too honest? but I cannot think nothing else.) since I finished studying. It is time to use my energy for enlightening my life. If I don’t have to go to work, I would (finally) have time for doing what I have been wanting to do. Imagining that I can do whatever I want at any time soon keeps me coming to work nowadays. I have seen many people who postponed their dreams to continue their working life and when they finally got the freedom, they don’t have any energy left (too old or dreams are not viable any longer) to pursue what they wanted to do all their life. I believe timing is very crucial in life and I want to complete my bucket lists as many as I can when I can.

 

“I know, but HOW???”

 

I know many of you would share the same opinion with me but ‘HOW to achieve’ is always a big question mark, isn’t it? We need to work on what we want to achieve as I and my husband have been working on our future diligently. 

 

Financial independence is the first and the most important step to free you. We have been saving as much as we could and our saving rate has been close to 80% of our income. Our savings and passive income have become higher than our expenses so we are financially free at the moment (without jobs). It has not been easy as we both came from overseas and had to study again and also had to start new life in a new country. However, our student like lifestyle helped us to keep our expenses far less than others. Until I hand in ‘the letter’ to my employer to set myself free (hopefully by the set day), we will constantly save up for welcoming ‘the days’.

 

 

Working on ‘Simple living lifestyle’ offers me enormous freedom. I try buy what I need not what I want. When I was younger (and stupid), I felt ‘never enough’ even though I had more than enough. I bought things because I wanted to buy not I needed to buy. New things offered me very short pleasure and emptied my wallet very long time.  Since we started thinking about our future and practicing simple living, I feel free from satisfying myself by having more things. Now when I can buy whatever I want, seriously I don’t feel to buy anything. Having less offers me peaceful mind and makes my wallet fuller. Have things that you only need and live below your means will free you eternally.   

 

 

‘Don’t worry, be happy’. I try not to worry too much as I know ‘What ifs’ will lead me nowhere. Frankly, I am nervous about the new chapter of my life as it is considered as an unusual path and as I don’t know how it will go and end. However, will it be worse than spending all my life at work and chase things which are not meaningful to me? I have got to go and have a look to find how it will be otherwise I will never know if it is good or bad. I believe that we have got ability to solve problems on the way and lead our life to where we wanted to. I respect people who take action to reach their dreams and I want to be one of them. I know we will be just fine.

 

 

Surely, the sad news will be forgotten as fast as it came to us (especially, who are willing to spend all their life at work) but definitely not to me. I am glad that we have started working on our financial freedom long time ago and can see the light from the end of the tunnel called ‘employment’.  As foreigners from non-English background started with $50 in the bank accounts in a new country have made this far so, why can’t you?  Nothing is too hard if there is a will. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do It Yourself (D.I.Y)!

I believe one of the simplest but most important tips to achieve financial independence is ‘spend less than you learn’. Do you agree? If you do so, D.I.Y will certainly help you to achieve ‘spend less’.

 

As a story teller (labelled by my husband), I cannot miss this story to tell you. One of my colleagues who has been looking after her finance quite well during her working life so soon be able to comfortably retire (unlikely to others) told me about her niece who wishes to live like her one day. Her niece is constantly having a financial problem even though both, she and her husband are working full time without any kid. How? Why? She doesn’t really know why she cannot save any money and permanently under the financial hammer. To me, the answer is very easy and clear to find. She spends more than what she earns for what she doesn’t need to spend (=waste). Let me tell her spending habits which she thinks fine (and alternatives which I think she should do).

 

·        Built a brand new house with massive mortgage (instead of buying an affordable     house with small mortgage)

·        Going out for lunches and dinners regularly (instead of cooking at home when they are having health issues)

·        Hire a cleaner regularly (D.I.Y)

·        Hire a person for mowing for their small garden regularly (D.I.Y)

·        Hire a person to clean their window regularly (D.I.Y)

·        Hire a person to shampoo her dog regularly (D.I.Y)

 

I don’t think I need to make a longer list to find out why she is permanently broke. I am not sure why she thinks that she deserves to be served by others and paying their services is adequate. However, I am sure where her money is disappearing to and she will never get her aunt’s financial position without changing her attitudes on spending immediately.

 

Current society makes our life getting easier and easier as we can buy anything we want and need. As long as we pay, we can get any services that we possibly imagine nowadays. However, basic rule that I believe is ‘There is nothing for free.’ and the payments can easily eat up our potential savings. Unless you don’t need to worry about money, you need to constantly control your expenses and cut down unnecessary spending to reach financial independence. D.I.Y will definitely be a great help to reduce your expenses and also trust me, it will offer you a special pleasure.

 

Well, it is time to talk about what we did last weekends. One of our tenants moved out a week earlier than she was supposed to so my husband and I decided utilising the paid week for improving our garden studio. The floor pained last year looked awful even though we used quite expensive well-known brand paint so re-painting was out of options and our decision ended up to laying laminated floating floor by ourselves. We have already 4 times of experience in laying timber floors but not by ourselves. We tried very hard to find the best deal to save money but were not brave enough for the D.I.Y. Therefore, it was not a simple decision but we decided to do for five reasons. Saving money, learning new skills, spending weekends productively, spending time together, and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. 

 

We measured the studio size to figure out how much material we would need and bought them from the local hardware shop which is considerably cheaper than specialised floor shops.

 

As our sub-floor was concrete, we used a damp-proof underlay to avoid humidity and lay along the length of the room. The underlay has adhesive tape on one side so it was quite easy to lay for even beginners like us.

 

We started laying the flooring in one corner, along the longest stretch of wall with the tongue facing to the wall in the same direction as underlay (as we watched videos from YouTube before we started). Placing the plastic spacer blocks to maintain an expansion gap between the panel and the walls edge shouldn’t be ignored. Adjoining the two planks firmly was quite fiddly at the beginning but it got better later on especially my husband’s hammering got more precise.

 

The hardest job was cutting planks in order to avoid splintering the edges but $40 dollar electric jigsaw (wise spending) helped us exceptionally. Finalizing with similar coloured skirting improved the finish of our amateur flooring job and made us proud of ourselves. Kneeling on the floor for a day doubled up my normal knee pain. However, looking at the floor done ‘by us’ simply swiped away the pain.  

 

As a frugal couple, we do most of things ourselves but laying floor was a definitely special experience to us. Whenever we try D.I.Y, we learn heaps of new skills and especially earn ‘self-confidence’ that can help us to deal with any problems. Laying floor was definitely harder than tapping keyboard and looking at excel spreadsheet all day in the office but we felt so much pleasure from what we have achieved.

 

There are many great reasons why I encourage you to try ‘D.I.Y’. Firstly, it is far cheaper than hiring someone and spending a fortune on their services. D.I.Y can offer you priceless rewarding for your effort that went into getting it done. You can also learn many new things and skills that make you self-sufficient. D.I.Y can give you a certain degree of freedom from depending on others’ services and, it is fun to do yourself.

 

Transforming the ugly floor to the stunning looking floor is a great pleasure. Especially, thinking about the money stays in my pocket makes me even happier. Hahaha…

 

Half way to go... looks already far better than before.

 

                                          

Only skirting to finish…  What a great feeling of achievement!

 

 

 

 

Handmade knee protections made by offcut of underlay. Why pay more? J

 

 

 

Milk box can be very useful… It became a cutting board.

 

 

 

Look at this stunning floor. Couldn’t be proud of ourselves more. Maybe we can start doing this for living? J

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learning from Early Retirement Blogs

Recently, I have been constantly educated by popular early retirement blogs (especially, Early Retirement Extreme, Brave New Life, etc…) sent by my husband on a daily basis. Whenever I read their blogs, I cannot stop admiring their special /revolutionary (if these words cover the true meaning of braveness and awareness) mindset. What they try to say and show through their own life is so real that it doesn’t seem to be realistic in our consumerism society but I believe the principle shouldn’t be overlooked.

 

This morning, as a very normal way to start my day at work, I flipped through some interesting stories on the web and I learned about a girl who escaped from North Korea and just started learning a real value of ‘Human Being’. She acknowledged herself as a brainwashed person. Very same moment when I read the word ‘Brainwashed’, I automatically thought about our life path. From the very early age, most of us were brainwashed into believing a ‘good ‘life path is living like majority of people. I have been following the scripted life path (as Jacob described from Early Retirement Extreme) without any questions. Study hard, go to a good University, get a stable job, get married, have kids, work for the family till the retirement age and so on… I was also one of the brainwashed people until we decided to have a 6 month break from the job and travel around world. Frankly, I was very nervous (as much as my colleagues were stunned by my decision) to break the ordinary life path (which believed as a ‘good’ one) and worried what if my decision could damage my life path. I didn’t feel comfortable to stay out of the comfort zone which was made by common perception rather than realistic circumstances. Funny enough, our special (abnormal) decision turned out to be the best decision I have ever made in my life. The unique experience woke me up to re-examine my life. Although I have been perfectly fit into the category of the ordinary (=the best) life path but I couldn’t stop questioning to myself about real value of working life. While I am reading these blogs, I am finding the answers that I have been looking for. The blogs make me feel comfortable by approving my thoughts are neither weird nor inappropriate.

 

One of the most important things I have learnt from the blogs is true value of time. We all know the time we have is limited and most valuable but easily overlooked and exchanged for money (work). The blogs teach me that I shouldn’t waste my time (life) for money (work) unnecessarily. ‘Less money (work) more time (life)’ sounds like a very sweet dream (=hard to achieve), but ‘more work less life’ absolutely horrifies me so I have decided to make my own life path to enjoy the true value of MY LIFE.

 

These blogs commonly talk about ‘Financial Independence (FI)’ and I couldn’t agree more about the importance of FI. How many times we had to postpone or withdraw our wishes because of the financial circumstances. My wish to create my own life path cannot be accomplished without FI and I am glad to know my frugal lifestyle directed me to step toward my goal.

 

What I also learn from them are many tips to reach simple living. Some of tips are quite extreme such as living in a caravan or not using heater at all in winter but what I highly respect is learning the beauty of simple living. Any reason, many people think that buying and having more (better) things can make life better so spend most of their life at work to make more money to have more things. Seriously, do we really need more things to be happier?  I rather spend more time with my loved ones and enjoy my time than work longer to have more stuff. What I learn from my simple life (which is still far away from these gurus) is when I have less, I have less problems and life gets far easier and more enjoyable.

 

What is enough for you? Enough is enough but we all want more and more. These blogs make me rethink about the real meaning of enough. If we don’t know what enough for us is, we never can feel the happiness. Next one we wish is always bigger than previous one, isn’t it? I believe that finding out what is enough for me and my future will truly help to design my own pathway. Do I have enough? Yes, I definitely do.

 

Long story short, I recommend you to visit these blogs and get a change to re-examine your life. As I mentioned earlier, you may think that their views are too realistic to apply to your life but you may find their eye-opening life approaches are awfully helpful to create your own life path (as they did it to me).

 

Believe me. No one can change your life unless you are ready to do so. All is up to you.

Jin's Sixth Picture in 2014

Any reason, I have been in a slack mood since the last picture. Whole month what I have done is only a simple sketch for the next picture and I am still not quite ready for the colouring. Lack of passion? Lack of commitment? Lack of self-assurance? Just being lazy? Maybe, little bit of everything. I have been trying to refresh myself but unfortunately the efforts were not really effective. So I decided to put this picture which I delayed to show for a month.

 

Even though I put same efforts and love into this picture as any others, honestly I didn’t get satisfied enough from this picture and the feeling discouraged me to paint more. Facing unsatisfactory picture is hurting as I put loads of love into. I know that I need to learn how to deal with ups and downs, and approve ‘Non perfect’ can be also acceptable as nothing is perfect. Too long excuses… may be… I don't feel still confident enough to show this but let me share with you to get fresh energy for the next one.