Why don't we ask any more?

 

 

 

“Mum!!!!! Why? Mum!!! How? Mum!!! What? Mummmmmm!!!” “Why?” “How mum?”

 

I must be such an annoying kid as I had to find out ‘reasonable’ reasons to do anything that I was asked to do. I can’t clearly remember what kinds of answers were reasonable to me as a child but I certainly remember that I was extremely stubborn and unenforceable to do anything that didn’t make sense to me. I asked countless questions until my poor mum was totally exhausted and shut me up (=spanked).

 

I was pretty annoying to most of my teachers at school, too. I had to know why I had to do what I don’t like to do and why I couldn’t do things what I wanted to do. Therefore, I kept asking many questions until I felt comfortable to obey or reject. I was never shy to ask what I wanted to find out and it worked well until I faced “the day” when I realized that I can’t ask whatever I want to know. The time finally has arrived when I realized that I was not the leader of the world any longer. I had to learn that I had to listen and ‘DO NOT’ ask too many questions for my own sake.

 

As I was growing older, I found out that people, especially who have higher status or authorities don’t like to be asked. Let’s blame the life as usual! Life taught me that they like people who listen and ask no questions about what to do and I have become one of the people who say not much. To be a good student, a good employer and a good human being….

 

Most of weekdays I get up 6AM to go to work. To avoid the terrifying traffic jam (1hour for 14Km), every year, I get up earlier than previous year. I spend most of day times in the office without windows (just in case someone can jump out… haha). I go home in dark and have dinner, watch news to find out what bad things have happened and go the bed for the early start. I cannot imagine how I would look like if I do not try to spend lunch time for my exercise regime. I wouldn’t be able to know what kind of weather it is without checking ‘Weather information sites’. I know the weather forecasts are getting more and more accurate but it is still different from the actual feeling. Am I right? I have been repeating this life routine over 10 years without asking ‘Why?’

 

This afternoon on the way to the gym at lunch time, I simply couldn’t comprehend the fact that I have been spending all morning inside (and I will spend all afternoon inside) when the weather is astonishingly beautiful. And, guess what? Suddenly, the forgotten word smashed my head. ‘WHY?’

 

‘Why do I have to stay inside all day when I could enjoy the day better outside?’

‘Is this how I wished to live?’

‘Am I really happy with what I am doing?’

‘Is money that important so I can scarify my life?’

‘What kind of life I have dreamed of? Is this one?’

‘How long can I last living like this?’

‘Are there any other ways to spend my life better/fulfilled?’

‘Why can’t I try to live better?’

‘What is the better life?’

 

Please do not presume that I was only too emotional at that time. Please don’t discourage me by that many people have the same questions but they choose to live without asking because that is the way of life that we are supposed to be live (as we are told). Please don’t tell me we all have to live as how others live and don’t question about our life.

 

I am neither blaming myself nor complaining others. I am just asking questions that I have supposed to ask and looking for the answers that I have been reluctantly avoiding. Honestly, I don’t have all the clear answers to my questions at this stage but I feel far better as I feel empowered to be a leader of my own life again. I claim myself to have an ownership on my life and will keep asking questions in order to find better ways to live.

 

How about you?