Early Retirement Plan (ERP) makes me lonely.

I talked about my early retirement plan (ERP) very firmly in my previous posts and I believe that it sounded quite solid and strong-minded. However, frankly, my mind is often wobbly and unsure, and sometimes I feel so lonely. There is nobody who I can discuss openly about my future at the moment except my dear husband. I never consider myself as an extreme popular person but I have never expected that I would have this kind of isolated feeling (like an alien). I don’t talk about my ERP enthusiastically any more unless someone asks about it seriously (very rare case). Avoid talking about ‘REAL’ things happening in my life and talking only everyday stuff to people around me (especially, even to close ones) make me feel quite sad.

 

 

 

Since I seriously think about my future at workplace and start talking about my ERP, I have experienced many different types of people’s reaction.

 

Majority of people are who simply don’t get what I am talking about. ‘Early retirement’ doesn’t exist in their life dictionary. They need to follow the standard life which they have been taught from the very early age. Anything unusual is no good. They have to work till the retirement age or later as it is scripted so they don’t question about their life path and also don’t have any interest in the ERP.  

 

Some of them seem to ‘TRY’ listening what I am trying to achieve, but they don’t think they can have the option. They agree but they cannot afford not to work in order to keep their life-style. They have plenty of reasons why they cannot think about the ERP such as kids, mortgage, renovations, new cars, holidays, career, etc... And, never forget to comment that I have different circumstances from them such as no kids, no mortgage, rental income, high savings, etc. Guess what? No one really asked how we have no mortgage and save more than them.  

 

There are some people who I cannot talk about my ERP, especially who are closer to their retirement age or over but still have to work. As long they love what they do, I don’t have any problem with their long working life. However, if they still have to work and spend their life at work for maintaining their life, (sorry) there is no reason to talk about my plan with them. It will be a useless talk to them anyway and I don’t want to be like them anyway (sorry again).

 

Some of them look at me as a weird person who talks unreasonable stuff (BS’s). To them, I am still too young to think about retirement. Instead of that, I am supposed to work harder and focus on progression of career. I need to develop my skills to get better jobs and get paid more to increase my life standard. I must spend more time at work and devote more of my life time for ‘better life’ in future. To them, I am very hopeless, unambitious and irresponsible for my future.

 

Since I seriously think about my future at workplace and start talking about my ERP, I have been feeling;

 

I feel totally ignored. I have noticed that no one is really interested in my plan. My plan is ‘REAL’ but no one seems to take it seriously. People seem to take my ERP as an impossible or only dreamlike plan. I look like a whinger who simply complains about work as everyone does. Since I started taking about my plan, seriously, no one really has asked ‘Why?’, ‘How?’, or ‘When?’ to reach my goal. What I really cannot understand is how many people around me hate their jobs which they spend most of their life, but no one seems to be interested in getting out of the trap. Why? I really don’t get it.

 

I feel worried. Am I wrong? Will I be okay? I feel like if I have chosen answer ‘A’ when majority of people have confidently chosen answer ‘B’. I was sure to choose ‘A’ but, suddenly not sure if I am right or wrong as no one seems to agree with my choice. I know that I must choose my own pathway instead of following others without examining my own life but choosing solitary pathway and stepping forward alone make me nervous.

 

I feel lonely. I would love to share my ERP with friends, family and people around me. I want to get useful tips from others and improve/adjust my plan if needed. I would like to share my ER journey with people and help them to get on the similar journey as soon as they can. However, it is awfully hard to find anyone to share. Our simply-life living approach is taken as Scrooge-like lifestyle and being conscious on spending is considered as thinking about only money. Trying to achieve early freedom from work to enjoy more of my life becomes a lazy behaviour. I do not worry about how I would be shown to people but I am being sad that people don’t even try to understand what we really want to achieve.

 

Too long list of complaining? I know but, I want to be honest with what I feel at the moment and share my unclear feeling with people who try to achieve early retirement as we do. Sometimes I feel nervous but at the same time, I am very honoured by my situation that allows me to plan for the early freedom. I don’t deny that I feel lonely to choose unusual path but I strongly trust my decision.

 

How do I get over this loneliness and keep myself strong?

 

Early Retirement blogs and books help me tremendously. Whenever I feel lonely and unsure about my plan, I try to read the EG blogs or books. I feel released by knowing that I am not the only one and many people who are far smarter and open-minded are trying to achieve the same goal. These blogs clear up my vagueness and refresh me why I have chosen to retire as soon as possible. Life is finite and I cannot afford to waste it. The ER bloggers and authors’ clear vision on their future is simply eye opening and inspirational. I truly suggest you to visit their blogs to open up our mind.

http://www.bravenewlife.com/

http://earlyretirementextreme.com/

http://simple-living-in-suffolk.co.uk/

http://retiredsyd.typepad.com/about.html

http://lackingambition.com/

 

I need to believe in myself and my decision. Honestly, it is not easy to keep believing your decision and keeps going ahead when people surround you don’t agree with the decision. I believe that we need to listen and re-evaluate our journey time to time but I refuse to follow how other people want me to live. I have been living the standard life recommended by society and I don’t want to live and end as scripted. I know it is time to live on my own plan and be a leader of my own life.    

 

Very fortunately, I have a wonderful supporter who shares my (our) plan together. We talk a lot about our future and share information which can help us to get on our dream faster. Having a same vision is privileged and it makes our journey far delightful.

 

I truly wish that one day my family, friends and close colleagues can understand what I am trying to achieve and share our journey together. One of my favourite ER boggers mentioned that we cannot tell people what to do. All we can do is showing them how we live. I want we all enjoy our life more and have more time to spend for doing what we like to do and being with whom we would like to be. I have learnt that I cannot change them by talking so I will show them how life can be enjoyable through my ERP. I hope this can help people to live ‘a better life’.